Why Identity Feels Risky at Work

How Control, Order, and Rationality Discourage Real Talk

“Do you work in facilities?”

I have worked at Stanford University for over twenty years, but never in facilities. So, why do I get asked this question?

The reality is that it’s because I look like I work in facilities.

In California, many people who work in facilities (janitorial staff, maintenance, groundskeeping, and landscaping) share certain features. I have tan skin, dark hair, and brown eyes. I’m overweight and not particularly tall (5’ 10”). Both of my parents are from Mexico. I speak Spanish.

Demographically, it’s a reasonable question. But I’m the Director of Data for External Relations at the Graduate School of Business. I dress business casual. I am often surrounded by colleagues who are either White or Asian, usually female. Still, I get the question.

If this situation makes you uncomfortable or angry, you probably sense something unspoken in the background.

You’re sensing a tension between work and identity. It’s taken me a while, but I’d like to unpack what often goes unsaid. This may be a bit risky, but it matters to me. In making these “norms” at work overt, I hope we can collectively navigate them better and, ideally, release some tension.

Control at Work

Our efforts should directly and proportionally impact the rewards we reap. We should have control over our professional success.

At work, we want to believe that we live in a fair world where people “get what they deserve,” so conversations that remind us otherwise make us uncomfortable.

If two people have the same job, title, and responsibilities, they should be paid equally. The inputs should match the outputs. That’s cause and effect. Reporting or even implying that this is systematically not the case makes folks squirm in their seats.

We want to feel like we’ve earned what we’re…