How to Decide Where to Live
Beyond a Generic List of Factors
The first 20 search results to the prompt “how to decide where to live” include several articles with titles like “14 Factors to Consider When Deciding Where to Live.” These articles have an average of about 10 factors and a range with a low of 5 factors and a high of 28. In aggregating the lists across websites, there were a total of 114 factors, some clearly duplicative items like “Cost of Living” and “Affordability,” but other quite unique factors like “Walkable to Restaurants” and “Near a University.”
To make matters more complex, a couple of articles recommend devising your own list of as many factors as you’d like, including things as specific as “Active Startup Scene” or “Close to Museums.” Then, once you’ve created your exhaustive list of personalized factors, taking the time to rate different possible locations based on each element using a “scale” (somewhat arbitrarily), something like “0” for not close at all and “5” for literally inside of a museum. Finally, they advise you to compare/contrast the degree to which each location satisfies your desires by summing your ratings and prioritizing potential future homes accordingly — the higher the score, the better.
Custom lists notwithstanding, I reviewed the 114 factors which showed up across the first couple pages of search results and collapsed them into four broad themes: (1) money, (2) environment, (3) services, and (4) relationships. Each of these broad themes could then be further broken down into sub-themes. Here’s a table that attempts to summarize the factors:
On the face of it, this list of factors looks pretty reasonable, perhaps even comprehensive. Of course, you should consider “Job Opportunities” and “Housing Costs” when deciding where to live! But, the difficult part of choosing where to live isn’t actually gathering an acceptable list of potentially relevant factors or even coming up with a completely unique list that details your specific likes/dislikes. The most challenging part of this process seems to be balancing the trade-offs between factors or determining the relative importance of each factor.
A Brief Reality Check
If you’re reading this article, you’re probably trying to figure out where you’re going to live, which means you likely have some latitude in making that kind of decision. For many folks, the question of “Where do I live?” isn’t as open-ended. It feels more like a “Where can I live?” As in, “Where can I get a job?” or if you already have a job, “Where can I afford to live, given the limitations of my job?” In this way, any process that attempts to advise folks on “how to decide” where to live begins with the implicit (and optimistic) notion that one can decide where one lives.
It is, for example, easy to imagine someone fastidiously going through the rather analytic process of optimizing the many factors above only to conclude that, ideally, they’d live in a town that is far outside their means, hundreds of miles away from any gainful employment. Alternatively, it may be precisely because some cities have so many desirable qualities that they are favored, to begin with, and, given limited housing supply, usually very expensive . In other words, not everyone can live there; many get “priced out.” The economic realities that drive this kind of decision are difficult to ignore. Which begs the question, “Given that you can decide where to live, how do you decide where you should live?”
Possible Decision-Making Paradigms
In any sentence, the word “should” may cue to the reader that we are entering the dangerous realm of normative claims, or more colloquially, that we’re about to talk about values. This can get a little dicey because what we value is so personal and because we often avoid conversations about what really matters to us for fear of offending or fear of being shamed. That said, how can anyone decide where to live, if not carefully consider what’s important to them? Isn’t that the whole thing? Isn’t that implicit in the verb “consider”?
So, given the factors above and my earnest hope that this article will be of some use to a broad audience, I would like to share a small number of possible “decision-making paradigms” (DMPs). These DMPs are designed to help you make sense of what’s important to you, given the vast array of possible things to consider. I call them “paradigms” because my hope is that each one invokes a specific point-of-view and that it is from that point-of-view, or with that point of view in mind, that the decision of where to live is being made.
You might find a point-of-view that you gravitate towards or one that you’ve been unknowingly using to make the decision tacitly. If so, then great! Hopefully, the paradigm can help you further refine your decision-making around these kinds of things. If not, don’t fret! Maybe you’ll discover that you have a completely unique point-of-view, and reading through the paradigms below with help bring your uniqueness into focus.
Full disclosure: I was being a little tricky earlier. The “reality check” above is actually an example of a DMP. I might call it the “Pragmatic DMP” or the “Availability DMP.” It decides where to live based on the options that are readily available, not based on optimizing any specific factor or group of factors.
DMP 1, Money: “I want money. That’s what I want.”
Maybe you feel like relationships, concerts, and a temperate climate are all “nice to have,” but what you want more than anything is to be financially independent and retire early or to buy your way out of any problem you might encounter. If that’s the case, here’s how you should probably decide where to live:
- Establish a minimum viable threshold for safety, including possible natural disasters and crime. Eliminate any locations/options that do not meet your minimum viable threshold for safety.
- Prioritize places with the lowest costs of living. Minimize the amount of money “going out.”
- If you’re not already, focus on finding employment that maximizes your income. Importantly, seriously consider jobs that pay for housing and/or employers that will pay/subsidize where you live.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with baldly using economics to help you decided where to live, especially if you have the goal of financial independence in mind and are willing to make a few short-term sacrifices to get free of the rat race. As a well-established caution, I should add that as powerful as money may be, it, in and of itself, does not guarantee happiness. For most folks, however, having money sure beats the pants off of the alternative. So, why not use it as a primary driver of where to live? Well…
DMP 2, Achievement: “I have a dream.”
People who want to be movie stars should probably move to Hollywood. This presents an entirely different way to decide where to live. If you have a specific goal in mind, or something in particular that you want to accomplish, chances are there’s a physical hub of that activity/domain and that you’d benefit from moving to that physical hub. It’d be difficult, for example, to thrive as a professional sumo wrestler outside of Japan. It’d also be difficult to “make it on Broadway” without living in New York or get onto the Notre Dame football team without living in South Bend (bonus points to you for catching that reference — evidence that you can relate with an achievement-focus!).
Interestingly, with this “goal-oriented” or “achievement” approach to deciding where to live, many of the factors above (even seemingly essential factors like safety) become secondary, if they are considered at all. In fact, the willingness to “sacrifice everything” is often touted as a determinant of success altogether. While I will stop short of promoting a pathological commitment to a narrowly defined aim, where you live can undoubtedly impact the likelihood of success for many endeavors. Put another way, for someone who has committed themselves to accomplish a specific task or to “fulfill their destiny,” it probably seems irrelevant to even consider things like tax rate, proximity to cultural events, long-term access to water, or accessible public transportation. But any journey can be challenging to undertake alone, which brings me to…
DMP 3, Relationships: “I want to be where the people are…”
If it takes a village to raise a child, you probably want to live in or near that village. For many, this means deciding where to live based on the location of family and friends. If you’re optimizing for the group of people you’d like to be around, this means compromising on other potentially influential factors. Here’s what this might look like:
- Mitigate risks related to natural disasters and crime. If your parents live at the base of Mt. Vesuvius and you want to live near your parents, you might want to look into preparing for volcanic eruptions. O.o
- Similarly, if your friends all live in San Francisco or New York and you want nothing more than to meet them at Central Perk, then, despite what some TV shows may imply, get ready to pay a pretty penny in terms of costs of living (i.e., rent, utilities, healthcare, etc.).
- Finally, given your choice to live with your tribe, you’ll probably want to think about employment in terms of the overlap between what’s available in that area and your skills/interests. You may have lucked out on that front and be getting ready to take over the family business, but most people won’t be so lucky, which means you’ll need to plan accordingly.
Notably, a related approach to deciding where to live is to look for “your tribe” in the less literal sense of “friends and family” and more sociological sense of “people like me.” The social bias towards homophily (“birds of a feather flock together”) is real & strong. So, if you’re an environmentally-oriented, liberal-minded, anti-capitalist with flowers in your hair… you’re probably not going to end up living in a large city, even if that’s where you grew up and where you visit during the holidays.
All that said, the benefits of optimizing for relationships, be they familial or otherwise, may be significant. According to the longest-running study on adult development, there are many positive side-effects of “warm relationships,” including things like physical health, increased frequency of sex, and financial success. If all of this sounds too much like “settling down,” then…
DMP 4, Freedom: “I want adventure in the great wide somewhere…”
Ok, forgive the back-to-back Disney “I want” song reference, but I couldn’t help myself. Cartoons aside, you may want to seriously consider the decision-making paradigm that scoffs at the planning implied in the DMPs above. Maybe, what you want more than anything is to not be so tethered to a particular place or group of people. Maybe what you want is freedom, adventure, and discovery.
If that’s the case, then you’re in luck because a “nomadic” lifestyle has rarely been more accessible, especially given the ubiquity and popularity of information-age employment and the share economy. Here’s what this might look like:
- Start with procuring “location independent” work. You’ll need to find a way to get resources to fund your movement without having to come back to a specific place at a particular time (i.e., no office for you!).
- Focus on mitigating risks related to travel. While you’ll be relatively free to move away from natural disasters, you should be more concerned with crime and the physical security of whatever small amount of belongings you can carry with you from one adventure to another.
- Get comfortable sleeping in new places. You could, of course, go from short-term rental to short-term rental, or try your hand at couchsurfing (it’s never been more well-organized), or decide to live in a house with four wheels (though mind the costs), but regardless of which you choose, you’ll want to, at a minimum, get used to sleeping in different places. Having adventures rarely means “being home in time for supper.”
Admittedly, suppose you want to have adventures while trying to avoid unwanted calamities (i.e., you’re adventurous and somehow still risk-averse). In that case, this lifestyle may actually require more planning than the DMPs above because you’ll need to consider multiple factors every time to move to a new location. But that’s probably a small price to pay for the visceral experience of getting to really know a new place and the ineffable experience of “being completely free.”
On the other hand, if all these options seem extremely optimistic to the point of being naïve to you, then…
DMP 5, Safety & Survival: “I’m pretty sure the end is nigh.”
Given the unprecedented events of 2020, you may be considering where to live because of an impending sense that things are only going to get worse. Maybe you have your “bug out bag” ready, and you’re really just looking for a list of places to go to survive the apocalypse. If that’s the case, you’re likely optimizing for safety and survival above all else. But be warned, being a survivalist can get pretty tricky.
While many folks seem to enjoy preparing for worst-case scenarios, balancing limited resources and determining what you may/may not be able to “count on once things go bad” can be a revealing exercise of the profoundly personal battle between optimism and cynicism; not to mention the hazards of being the only one who may be prepared. Like with any of the paradigms above, questions related to “extremes” abound. How much safety is enough? When, exactly, do you decide to press the go-button on your survival plan? Riots in the street? Global pandemic?
Here, the decision of “where to live” reveals itself as being intricately entangled with the broader, perhaps more existential question of “how to live.” Resources on how to be a “prepper” abound online, so I won’t detail them here, but they tend to focus on “the essentials” like food, water, and first-aid. They also seem to take time more seriously than other approaches, as in calculate-the-number-of-days-you-can-survive seriously versus using more vague notions of time like “short-term” versus “long-term” planning. All of it may have you asking… is survival really the goal? What if I want more? What if I want to thrive?
Conclusion
If you’re trying to decide where to live, you’ll probably use a combination of paradigms. For my taste, for example, I’m drawn to a combination of DMP3 (relationships) and DMP2 (achievement), with a healthy dose of DMP1 (money) and a sprinkle of DMP4 (adventure) — that’s probably why I live in the Bay Area(!). But, as with many things, there may be significant advantages to occupying a space at the extremes (i.e., making decisions purely based on the single thing you want to optimize… the DMP1 in me is looking at you Mississippi!).
As for the “factors to consider,” I think it’s nice to have a working list of the kinds of factors (e.g., money, environment, services, and relationships), but the devil is in the details. Or, put another way, the real issue is really with the verb “consider” — as in “How do you start to consider these factors?” Plainly, the “decision-making paradigms” above are merely a shortlist of possible approaches to deciding where to live (actually to making lots of related decisions). My primary aim has been to get you thinking about what matters to you and how where you live might support, or detract from, what matters.
To be completely honest, there’s a lot to be said for an “experimental approach” to deciding where to live. Make a list of places, go try them out, and learn as you go. Maybe you’ll discover something new about a place, or, better yet, perhaps you’ll discover something new about yourself.
